5 boys.
so to get my “6 month guarentee” I have to email 5 active members of match.com.
it shouldn’t be hard but I have a hard time of getting across my witty fun friendly banter without sounding like a mega-biotch. Example:
this one boy had on a RIDICULOUS white tuxedo in his profile picture. It was hideous, and he was standing in front of a painted night skyline. it had to be a fake picture, had to be. And he had a bunch of witty banter in his about me section. so I wrote him an email entitled “Nice Tuxedo”. I cant really remember anything else of what I said, but I think it was cute. So imagine my surprise when I did not hear back from him…what? I told my friend Rachel about it and she basically said what if he was actually wearing that tuxedo for real, what if it was a real picture? maybe that is his favorite suit, you totally just ragged on him….and I felt bad. From then on we pretty much refered to any situation where I was making fun of a guy to the point of him getting upset/hurting boys feelings/saying something in jest and having it taken seriously as a “Nice Tuxedo” type of situation.
Cause the truth is (I finally admitted to myself after reading this girls memior last week which was pretty much a page by page of my life..) I am afraid of boys. There I said it. Unless we have a brother-sister type of relationship I am petrified of you. Seriously. I don’t know how to function. I am getting better with this and at 25 I am at the point where I can hold a decent conversation with an attractive male with out turning a crazy shade of yellow-red (almost) and I know its not that serious but for me it is. I can’t explain this un healthy fear of men. I think it has something to do with the male/female ratio of my school?
ANYWAYS. all that said I am just trying to not be all “nice tuxedo” when I email people. cause its easy for me to crack jokes and laugh, not so easy to be sincere and vunerable. here’s to becoming a functioning adult.
