January 2012
2 posts
6 tags
Have you lost your mind?
I can’t even. I think I am dealing with some mild trauma from the worlds worst date. It didn’t hit me ‘til this morning and I’ve felt mildly sick all day.
Earlier this crackhead tried to hit on me & wave when he walked past and I threw up my arms like I was going to start swinging. He got spooked and ran. He knew I wasn’t taking any foolishness today.
I tell...
4 tags
Things that will always irritate me.
You asking for my number, and if you could text me. Me giving you that number, you never using that number.
GET OUT OF HERE.
November 2011
1 post
2 tags
What needs to happen.
last night I was talking and I decided that this is what needs to happen. I need to meet someone who isn’t crazy, is sort of mellow, doesn’t scare easily and just gets it. All other details of their appearance/life are flexible. Me and my personality are a lot to handle, not in a bad way, I’m fantastic and hilarious and loud. To know me is to love me, but some people might be a...
October 2011
1 post
4 tags
can I just say?
there has been an influx of friggin idiots in my life! That sounds really harsh I know, but for the past several months all the dudes I have met/tried to talk to/tried to hang out with/tried to put it on have been crazy, flaky or on drugs. I’m tired and I’m a lady. Why is it so hard to find a gentleman?
I just want a boy who doesn’t smoke weed, likes Jay-Z records and looks like...
July 2011
1 post
2 tags
Let me get your number.
Is it wrong that I want to give a disclaimer when I give somebody my number/whenever some guy asks for it?… “look, I’ll give you my number but only if you use it and use it properly. Don’t ask for it to try and make me feel good at the end of our conversation now, when you have no interest in calling me/hanging out and I’m probably never going to see you again. I...
March 2011
2 posts
Lose my number
“were gonna be good friends…”
“I don’t want a girlfriend…”
“I’d ask you out, but…”
These are all clear signs that you don’t really like me, cause if you did you’d avoiding telling me how great of a friend I’d make. That said,stop contacting me. thanks.
4 tags
talking about things that I know
yes, I am dusting off this blog and let me just tell you…
if you are texting me and not calling me
if you are not trying to see me
if you really aren’t concerned about what I am doing and where I am going…
you don’t like me/something else is up.
This has happened to me, and several other people I know and it is never a good situation
I am (and anyone else reading...
October 2010
1 post
1 tag
August 2010
1 post
I forgot I had this blog.
and my husband is still NOT on the internet.
June 2010
1 post
3 tags
Talking about things that I know
I haven’t updated this thing in forever, and up until recently I had debated signing up for a life in a convent (not really I am just being dramatic) and by some weird force of nature I ended up chatting up/hanging out with/making out with this man on Friday, who I thought was so cute and in all honesty I didn’t think he was trying to deal with me at all. But I started chatting him up...
January 2010
3 posts
2 tags
I think I need to change the name of this blog.
I-Date isn’t that accurate.
its more like sans date, and that’s okay.
so far in 2010 the “I can’t be bothered” philosophy has worked out well. The minute I decided that I wasn’t going to be bothered/sad about being single/realizing it wasn’t that serious to begin with, the better I felt. Thinking positively has helped me leaps and bounds people. This...
2 tags
3 tags
Progress.
so tonight was the first holiday I have spent in a long time where I haven’t been upset about being single/or wishing I had someone to spend the holiday with. Newsflash, all my friends are pretty fun and entertaining and I got to go to two parties, with fabulous people.I had fun and as I walked home I thought about how blessed I am to live in my city and know who I know. I think it goes back...
December 2009
3 posts
New Year's Resolution.
so I am over wallowing in a pool of sadness about my single condition.(its not really a condition)
and for the past 3 years my new years resolutions have mainly been to find a man in the following year etc. etc. and for the past 3 Decembers I have been slightly bummed when I realized that my goal for the past year had not been met.
after some self-reflection and various conversations with...
2 tags
a word on christmas.
can I just say that this is the first christmas where I really haven’t been super happy and excited and in the holiday spirit. I was trying to figure it out, whats wrong? Why don’t I feel super happy and delighted like I usually do this time of year.
I decieded that it was this, the older you get and the more single you are the harder the holidays become. I have to work all around the...
1 tag
Done....
So I have decided that I am done with the e-dating. In all honesty my experience wasn’t great and I have to admit I gave it an honest effort. I didn’t go on any dates or make contact with hardly any one, and no one that I was really interested in for that matter.
In short my experience with internet dating it really just injured my pride a bit and took $70.00 out of my checking...
November 2009
2 posts
yourhusbandisnotontheinternet,
junglejustine:
Like usual, your posts amuse me. Anyway, I agree with you. Dating someone younger is so dangerous.
Age is not just a number. A person that is 18 years old is in a completely different place than someone that is 25 years old. I’ve changed so much from the time I turned 18 years old to now. I could never date someone that is in that place while I’m on a completely different level....
1 tag
You are 19...19.
So I have been taking a bit of a hiatus from E-dating and attempting to make plans to meet boys across the bridge(Seriously. I think I need to post about the east bay) and mostly I have been to lazy to commit the time to looking online/emailing people etc.
SO
for the first time this month, I sat down and started to look through profiles, I saw not one, not two but 3 men who were 19 years...
October 2009
10 posts
in case you were wondering...
internet dating is kinda lame.
I have had more success meeting single men on my own the past month
vs. meeting men online.
sure a few of those single men may have been gay…but hey.
its a step in the right direction. at least i’m trying.
Lies?
So every man I look at on match (not every but a good 75%) list hiking, biking, fishing, mountain climbing, traveling to foreign and exotic locations and going to spirtual journeys as there interests.
I am begining to think its bullshit.
there is no way that traveling can be your FAVORITE hobby when you hold a full time job and live in San Francisco. Sure you can love to travel, do it often and...
my fundamental problem.
I am selfish.
so much so that I make excuse/sabotage/make myself busy to avoid relationships.
put time and effort into people who I know are unavailable to trick myself into thinking that I made an effort, or at least tried to put myself out there.
its true. I think this is my fundamental problem.
I am not gf material.
i don’t think about other people, I like spending my free time...
its a small world.
so last week I did stand up comedy at this open mic night venue out in the east bay. There was this one male comedian who was super rowdy, kinda short but still cute and was talking about dating all crazy, he was pretty funny but he left before the end of the show and I didn’t get a chance to talk to him afterwards….
WELL.
I look and low and behold who is in my matches for the week,...
mutual matching...
I went to do some searching on the match tonight and was shocked and appauled when I recieved this message:
No exact mutual matches could be found… yet. For us to deliver the most accurate mutual matches, change your “About My Date” preferences or their relative importance to you.
rude internet. Super rude.
Somedays I don't think its worth the money at...
seriously.
I could meet men anywhere…for free.
grocery markets.
the bus.
concerts.
coffee shops.
the park.
next door neighbors
etc. etc.
when I see an empty inbox and start feeling sorry for myself I have to snap out of it, and think you are a beautiful, intellegent female, this shouldn’t be such an overwelming process.
but i live in san francisco.
and there is a lack of men...
One Month Down.
Today was the last day of my first month of internet dating. I have a long way to go.
Goal for month 2…meet man, have him buy me a steak dinner…well just dinner.period.
somedays I think its worth the money.
When I come home to my inbox and match.com has sent me a list of 5 eligible bachelors and one of them is a 6’0 adorable Jewish boy who lives in Oakland and has an amazing vinyl collection, and is a painter. jack-pot. And I didn’t have to do anything but log into my email. I love the internet.
To get my full match.com experience.
Do I email someone I am not interested in to be nice and for the sake of getting to know them better? or should I just not respond?
Cause I got 2 emails from 2 men that are kinda random, but I feel like I should respond to get the full experience of match.com.
Okay, I am going to reply to both of them. Here goes nothing.
September 2009
29 posts
give me a sign San Francisco.
I went out with to have a glass of wine with my friend who has lived in San Francisco for over 20 years. She turns to me and says “Where are we going to meet men in the city?” I stop and stared at her. I wanted to say you mean after 20 years of being here you still don’t know. Lady, I have been here for 3 years and I am out of ideas. Don’t tell me that I destined to another...
I'm 31 but I act like I'm 19.
notokaytolook:
Him: hi nice to meet you how are you? would you be interested in going out on a date?
ME: hi, nice to meet you too but like it says on my profile, i’m not interested in anyone over 30. sorry, =/ good luck on your search.
Him: i act like i’m 19 thats why i messaged you your invited to boca my treat to go out for a nice lunch or dinner? or go to see a movie or i would make us a...
“Meet sinabari
* Like you, he’s the youngest child.
* Like you,...”
– Match sent me this. I like the “pretty impressive-he has a Ph D” part. Apparently match knows that I am looking for a Doctor of some sort. Thank you.
Watchglitterforbreakfast:
Dating Video Montage
Dear yourhusbandisnotontheinternet, dating has always been hard. The format just changes.
OMG. This is incredible!!! Thank goodness video dating is no longer relevant. Oh and I love all the hideous sweaters in this montage.
1 tag
Maybe i'm just tired.
maybe its the fact that I have been on vacation for the last week and kind of checked out but I can’t bring myself to do anything on my match account. I kinda hit a wall. I don’t feel like sending anymore witty emails (until I have to next month to meet my “quoata”, which is a whole other topic),I don’t feel like searching for eligible men in my area and I don’t...
I think should have joined J-Date
I should have.
did you know there is a “considering converting” option?
yeah, I def. should have. Tons of nice jewish boys online at my choosing.
there isn’t a “guarentee” ala match, but hey…i’ll take my chances to holler at one of God’s chosen people please.
just saying.
“if you want some fun go to the eastbay”
– A gentle comment on Vice’s guide on SF neighborhoods (via sfhaps)
For a-game.
(via 2girls1queen)
I think I want to change this to “if you want a man go to the eastbay”, cause Sf is strapped.
“I think it’s okay to be 34 years old and behave like a 22 year old”
– some man who was checking me out had this as his opening statements about himself. There is so much wrong with this statment its not funny. I got through this sentance and didn’t bother reading the rest of his profile. NEWSFLASH-there is so much wrong with being 34 and behaving like you are a...
15/30
I am on day 15 out of 30 and so far I have attempted to contact 8 people with no responses…rude.
witty emails?
check
cute profile photo?
check
what is the deal men of San Francisco?
If all I get is 6 months of me sending random emails to strangers I am going to be sorely dissapointed match. Not going to lie. Cause I can do that all by myself…and for free. That 16 bucks a month...
yourhusbandisnotontheinternet.tumblr.com →
junglejustine:
Dare I say, I love this tumblelog. Yes, I love. I think people make the common mistake of using the internet as their final resort to companionship. Even I, at the mere age of 20 thought all hope was lost and the world wide web would end my problems. Truth is, most young people using the internet are fully capable of meeting someone in person. If you can converse, you can and will...
My Guide to Match.com Dating
christinahaberkern:
Sure, I’m single and am no means an expert, but I have had a Match.com account on and off for two years now, and have been on a TON of dates from the site….some DREADFUL. Learn from my mistakes: • Pick good photos: Let’s face it, no one is going to read your profile unless you hook them in with a good photo first. Guys, this means stand out from the typical “guy profile”. The...
2 tags
How to find a husband in 10 days....
after 10 days my prospects on the net look bleak. Sure its only a week and a half, but I am a child of the 80’s a product of a microwave-instant-gratification type of society where I expect instant results. For example I got a bunch of kheils “brightening” line samples from my work. They are supposed to lighten and fade out discoloration/my freckles. I used the products...
Witty Emails.
should be an artform.
do you know how hard it is to translate my wit for the internet?
seriously people.
these boys better laugh and respond at my emails.
LAUGH and RESPOND.
where are all these men hiding?
as I parooze the tens of hundreds of single men “looking” online I wonder. Where the hell are these men in the city?
and where can I meet them please?
Somedays.
I wish I could wake up in the morning, walk outside my door and have him waiting there for me. Then all this searching, and worrying about being hopelessly alone for the rest of my life would be over. But I guess there isn’t much adventure or fun in that scenario, but thats what I want somedays.
“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty,...”
– SATC (via iamblessed) (via tinamarie) (via itsnotthatserious)
something like that.
5 boys.
memoirsofagangster:
yourhusbandisnotontheinternet:
so to get my “6 month guarentee” I have to email 5 active members of match.com.
it shouldn’t be hard but I have a hard time of getting across my witty fun friendly banter without sounding like a mega-biotch. Example:
this one boy had on a RIDICULOUS white tuxedo in his profile picture. It was hideous, and he was standing in front of a...
5 boys.
so to get my “6 month guarentee” I have to email 5 active members of match.com.
it shouldn’t be hard but I have a hard time of getting across my witty fun friendly banter without sounding like a mega-biotch. Example:
this one boy had on a RIDICULOUS white tuxedo in his profile picture. It was hideous, and he was standing in front of a painted night skyline. it had to be a fake...
Love.
Yet another reason why I am searching for my soulmate…
I just killed a BIG ASS SPIDER up in my living room.
it was gross and my roomie was half asleep and didn’t aid me.
one day I want to live with a boy who will do things like kill bugs for me, paint the kitchen, and help carry up my groceries.
its the dream.
day 4.
memoirsofagangster:
yourhusbandisnotontheinternet:
I am begining to think this is a waste of money.
not really since if I don’t meet someone I get “my money back”
turns out I get six more months of online dating for free. NOT a cash refund…rude.
I have decided that if I go one year with out meeting a relatively sane boy online that is God sending me a message..
“CANDACE…I AM CALLING YOU...