can I just say that this is the first christmas where I really haven’t been super happy and excited and in the holiday spirit. I was trying to figure it out, whats wrong? Why don’t I feel super happy and delighted like I usually do this time of year.
I decieded that it was this, the older you get and the more single you are the harder the holidays become. I have to work all around the holidays so I only get one day to spend with my family and its making me a little sadder than usual. I’m not saying a boy would be the answer to all my problems but seriously…being 25, and single around the holiays is pretty lame. I don’t know why 24 felt so different.
So I have decided that I am done with the e-dating. In all honesty my experience wasn’t great and I have to admit I gave it an honest effort. I didn’t go on any dates or make contact with hardly any one, and no one that I was really interested in for that matter.
In short my experience with internet dating it really just injured my pride a bit and took $70.00 out of my checking account. I think I emailed like 25 guys and got one response back, that being a guy telling me he wasn’t interested in bigger girls. Part of me feels like this was an epic fail because you mean out of 100,000’s of people I didn’t find one person who was a match? Then I had a thought, if I went out on a Friday or Saturday and talked to 25 men at the club or bar I was at? I am pretty sure I would have way more success vs. trying to make a connection online with people who have no idea who they are talking to. My theory could be wrong but that’s how I feel.
Seriously, I am 25 and have no business being so worked up about this. At the end of the day I am Candace, freckles, glasses, loud laugh and quirks. I think I am special and deserve someone who thinks the same. But why I have had such a hard time finding someone who thinks this is a mystery to me… Maybe it is my physical appearance, or my beliefs, or that fact that at the end of the day I am okay with being on my own vs. settling for some random and ending up more miserable to begin with.
I just don’t like that at the end of this experience I ended up doing what I hate, which is comparing myself to this insane, unrealistic standard of what I think I should be/or should have accomplished by now and making myself more upset when I realize that I didn’t measure up to this idea of what I should be. Its really not that serious and has nothing to do with who I am, but at the end of the day its there and its what tends to upset me the most in all honesty.
so you probably won’t be getting a lot of dating posts out of me. I thought online dating would be fun…it was entertaining but I feel like I could do better on my own, and use that extra $16 bucks a month on some jewelery from Forever 21, or a cute dress from Target thank you very much.
Okay, I think I am done rambling on about my issues now.
junglejustine:
Like usual, your posts amuse me. Anyway, I agree with you. Dating someone younger is so dangerous.
Age is not just a number. A person that is 18 years old is in a completely different place than someone that is 25 years old. I’ve changed so much from the time I turned 18 years old to now. I could never date someone that is in that place while I’m on a completely different level. Dating someone with an age gap that significant doesn’t sit well with me, nor will it ever.
I know a lot of mature teens but it doesn’t change the fact that a person has the mental capacity of their technical age. I am a 21 year old and with all the shit I have to do and stress over, I feel like a 40 year old but really, I’m 21.
Point is, age matters.
It does. I am sure you reach a point when its less of an issue, but as a 25 year old plus or minus 5 years is a huge difference and the life experience you gain in your twenties is so important.
I kinda feel the same way about dating someone who is significantly older than me too.
So I have been taking a bit of a hiatus from E-dating and attempting to make plans to meet boys across the bridge(Seriously. I think I need to post about the east bay) and mostly I have been to lazy to commit the time to looking online/emailing people etc.
SO
for the first time this month, I sat down and started to look through profiles, I saw not one, not two but 3 men who were 19 years old…. NINE-FREAKING-TEEN. Why are you on Match? You just graduated, are you trying to enter a commited relationship? Probally not.
I don’t want to judge, or sterotype but when I was 19 I was not internet dating, I was trying to figure out who the hell I was, and who I wanted to be. I didn’t know up from down and spent all my extra money on forever 21 jewelry and cd’s (okay…so that hasn’t really changed)I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone why I was going through this. I changed so drastically from 18-21 that its scary.
That said I think I am going to start trying to date older men. Not old like grandpa’s but men who are in their late 20’s to early 30s. My co-worker pitched this idea at me, and I wasn’t having it, but the more I think about it the more I think its a better idea.
internet dating is kinda lame.
I have had more success meeting single men on my own the past month
vs. meeting men online.
sure a few of those single men may have been gay…but hey.
its a step in the right direction. at least i’m trying.
So every man I look at on match (not every but a good 75%) list hiking, biking, fishing, mountain climbing, traveling to foreign and exotic locations and going to spirtual journeys as there interests.
I am begining to think its bullshit.
there is no way that traveling can be your FAVORITE hobby when you hold a full time job and live in San Francisco. Sure you can love to travel, do it often and go see new places but don’t act like you go Thailand every other week to pick up some noodles.
And yeah, you have a lot of pictures of you treking and hiking in the woods. I get it you like nature, but really? 10 photos of you scalling a wall?
this makes me think my match is going to be harder to find. I need a man who is honest and says he likes hanging out in bars, or going for walks around the city in his free time, not scalling the great while of china.
I’ll admit it. I’m a simple girl, it doesn’t take much to amuse me or entertain me. I am up for almost anything and I try to have an open mind about every thing.
so that said, where are all my urban men at, who like museums, street art, eating hot dogs and outdoor music festivals? Sheesh.
I am selfish.
so much so that I make excuse/sabotage/make myself busy to avoid relationships.
put time and effort into people who I know are unavailable to trick myself into thinking that I made an effort, or at least tried to put myself out there.
its true. I think this is my fundamental problem.
I am not gf material.
i don’t think about other people, I like spending my free time shopping, blogging, and going out with my friends
i cant imagine that i would be good at working someone into being a large part of my life all of the sudden, i don’t think i am cut out for it.
i don’t like making an effort to meet new people
and at the end of the day I am happy with my life just the way it is.
maybe i just bitch and complain about my lack of a relationship because it gives me something to do.
i have a habit of making things happen when I want them to.
so why is this any different?
so last week I did stand up comedy at this open mic night venue out in the east bay. There was this one male comedian who was super rowdy, kinda short but still cute and was talking about dating all crazy, he was pretty funny but he left before the end of the show and I didn’t get a chance to talk to him afterwards….
WELL.
I look and low and behold who is in my matches for the week, as a 95% match to me, but short-kinda-cute comedian who was telling jokes about how hard dating is in sf….so weird. I want to send him an email and be like “hey I saw your set in Dublin it was funny etc.etc” but I until I can think of a non-creeper way to say that I am going to chill for a second.
I went to do some searching on the match tonight and was shocked and appauled when I recieved this message:
No exact mutual matches could be found… yet.
For us to deliver the most accurate mutual matches, change your “About My Date” preferences or their relative importance to you.
rude internet. Super rude.
